Air Kita

Waktu memang berjalan kawan. Air kita yang tenang dan tergenang dulu kini sudah berenang. Terentang dan membentang jauh.
Berenang dalam arus yang semakin ganas dan membesar.
Ada saat dimana kita berada seiring dan mengiring, kita tergiring. Menertawakan arus bersama, terbahak tanpa takut. Pernah kita berhenti sejenak di tepian, terbuai oleh hangatnya tanah. Kita pernah lupa akan lautan. Merasakan cita yang berganti datang antara suka dan duka.
Dan detak waktu memang maju, kitapun bergerak maju. Merasakan deraan dan desahan gelombang yang karenanya kita terpisah. Ketika kamu berada diatas dan lalu terjun deras meninggalkan aku yang berkeras di air kita.
Waktu berbisik padaku kawan, katanya kamu disana, bercampur dan rancu.
Dalam garam kamu kalah dan menjadi asin.
Dalam geram aku berkata tak perlu resah.
Itu sudah adanya untuk jadi harus. Kamu sudah punya arti.
Aku menunggumu kawan di pusaran air yang tenang.
Air kita!
Kau pasti kembali.
Aku masih mengingatmu.

pintu

Aku mengetuk pintu-pintu prostitusi, dimana wanita-wanita melankolis menyambutku dengan sajian penuh cinta dan getar penuh getir kehidupan.

aku mengetuk pintu-pintu para suci yang gila masturbasi, dimana si pembuat dan si penikmat menyambutku dengan buaian indah kehidupan, isapan jempol kebahagiaan, dan pembodohan berkelas.

aku mengetuk pintu-pintu para terkutuk dan pintu-pintu para pengutuk.

dan di bangsa raya yang terberkati ini aku merasa dikutuk oleh rasaku pada yang terkutuk dan rasaku juga pada para pengutuk.

aku menutup mata, terbata ketika merasa, didera rasa sesal, kejam hatiku merasa pilu.

He is the king

His eyes stare at me, warmly, deep! questioning without words, only a stare.
and from His eyes I found that I am lost
I bend my knees in front of him, downcast my head, tears fall down, and I cry.
I know nothing from what I thought I know
I live nothing from my life
He conquered me,overpowered me. without no single words!
what makes me precious in front of Him?

The Man and His Two Wives

salah satu bagian tugas dari kelas creative writing.

Every women would love John. He was handsome, super smart and super wealth. Unfortunately, until his late of 30, he hadn’t got married. Every time people asked him the reason, he would respond that his heart was a big slice of pizza and every women deserved to grab and take their own pieces, but John real problem was a matter of choice. He wanted to have a spouse who had the most beautiful body, the most beautiful face and blond hair as the absolute requirement for the physics, but he also wanted that the woman should had brain. He wanted that the woman at least had a master degree and matured in thought. It was hard to find a woman with that qualities and that’s why until that age, John kept playing with women. Anytime he missed his young and wild lifestyle, he would go to Fiona, a 23-year old woman who was naturally born with blond hair, fair complexion and beauty of a model. They would waste their time, hanging around from party to party, shopping from country to country, and making love from hotel to hotel. They lived like a rock star, rebel and fame. John loved Fiona so much, he didn’t care whether Fiona had the same feeling with him or not. And every time John bored with the fun, he would go to Amber, a 42-year old woman who were losing her beauty but advanced with maturity and cleverness. Amber was a busy carrier woman, usually both would spend their time mostly in a room, doing a discussion, reading a book, playing with literature works and making love in politeness at the end. They lived like the nobleness, polite and educated. John realized that he was getting old, his hair were no longer black, some had turned to be gray. He wanted to settle his life. He wanted both Fiona and Amber became his wives. John prayed to God, he asked God to excuse him married those women and promised that he would take care them equally. John also realized that “ora et labora” meant something, that while he was doing his request to God he also had to make his request to the government, he called his friends at the house of representative, asked them about their prosperity, and provided them with some of his care. Finally, what John had wished was agreed by God and by the Government. The rule was legal, a man was allowed to have more wives than one. John didn’t waste his time, at first he came to Amber, he wrote the best poetry and even got it revised by the best poet at that town and with that poetry he proposed Amber. Amber was delighted, she had been waiting that for a long time. She accepted the purpose and they got married. John promised to Amber that next week they would go for honeymoon and he asked her to be prepared and he would tell her later. Amber was a woman on a moon, she lose her brain, drowned in love, and swallowed every John’s word completely.
“Wait for me dear, it’s going to be a surprise”
He said that with his lips and Amber heard that with her heart. John left Amber
John went to Fiona’s place, she was usually mad with John every time they met again after John left her.
“Now, you come back again! for what reason this time?”
Fiona was very upset, she was grumbling.
John didn’t have to answer, he showed Fiona something that she couldn't resist. It was the biggest diamond that Fiona ever seen in her life. Her mouth was gaped, and after she heard that John wanted to marry her, she started to cry and forgot all the anger she tried to build at first. They got married directly that day. There was no problem with the regulation. It was legal. Actually he could marry with another women if he wanted to. But, he had divided that slice of pizza only for Fiona and Amber.
“Now! Fiona, I want you to be prepared! a week after today I will call you and take you for honeymoon. I have to leave you now, it will be a surprise”
John swinged Fiona more and more, Fiona imagined about the honeymoon and smiled.
“OK, I’ll wait for your call”
John left Fiona, he prepared everything for the honeymoon. He bought a small house at the village, far from the city, where everything was still natural. He wanted that by putting his wives in same and small place, they would be rubbed along together, understood his reason of marrying both of them and shared their love each other.
The day was come, John asked his men to take those women and drove them to that house where he was waiting. The wives came together, they were surprised with the fact they got. They were very furious, Amber lose his temper and mocked at John, something that she never did before. Fiona hit John few times and tried to leave that place, but failed after she realized it was far from the city and John had made that place secluded. John explained everything about his love for them and about the reason putting them in that place together. The wives realized that their marriage was legal and after some time John had successfully persuaded them, they finally accepted the decision.
Amber and Fiona started to live together and everything seemed to be just fine. John enjoyed his new life, he was happy to have Fiona and Amber together with him. He made his schedule for sleeping, he made A.M as Amber Moment, time where he had to sleep with Amber and F.M which was Fiona Moment, the time where he had to sleep with Fiona. 3 days for Fiona and 3 days for Amber and on Sunday they would go out together. John tried to be fair all the time, and with no complain from their wives, he felt he had succeeded to be a good husband. The wives also gave the good manner. They never fought each other, they honored John, and served him well.
That day was Sunday, John felt a little bit ill. He didn’t take his wives out. He stayed at the bed room, while his wives went together to the church. He counted that they had been there for almost a month.
“Well, almost a month here and everything is doing fine”
He talked to himself. He thought that it was about the time to go back to the town. Back to their old life.
“We are success to live together in this kind of place, I bet we can also success in town. I have to tell them, they will be delighted”
John thought again, than he smiled. He rushed to the bathroom, he wanted to have shower.
“I will welcome my wives when they get home and tell them about the plan, they will be happy”
John took his shaver, went to the mirror, and ready to shave. John looked at his face and found out something different with his appearance. He had lost his hair. John was shocked, he held and scratched his head. He was bald. John ran outside the bathroom and called his wives, he forgot and then realized that they were still at the church. He entered Fiona room, he looked for something to hide his baldness, he was afraid that Fiona and Amber would hate him now. John didn’t find things he looked for, what he found was something that shocked him more. He found some gray hair at Fiona’ drawer. John ran to Amber’s room and found another hair but the ones were black in Amber’s drawer. John felt the world was shaking now, his head suddenly became so heavy that his neck couldn’t even hold it. He passed out. While outside Amber and Fiona were walking together as they went home and they were arguing some things, about who was John’s best wife, who was better in being a housewife and about the best appearance for their husband.

middle of nowhere

terinspirasi dengan isu freedom yang akhirnya membuat saya terkungkung dengan pertanyaan tentang freedom itu sendiri. seperti ada yang berkata dan mendorong dalam pikiran untuk free them , keluarkan semua! tapi ternyata freedom itu susah.

Aku mencari-cari kehakikian sebuah perjuangan, tentang jatuhnya suatu sistem dan lahirnya suatu ideologi baru, tentang darah dan tangis yang tertumpah karena kerinduan terhadap bau dan pelukan ibu pertiwi,tentang kemunafikan kita terhadap kebenaran suatu tindakan, tentang kesemuan dari semua yang nampak nyata. Aku mencari-cari dalam pertanyaan tentang arti satu dalam seribu, tentang pengertianku akan kebebasan dan segala yang harus tertanggung olehnya. Aku mencari-cari dan dalam pencarianku aku hilang, tenggelam, dan timbul untuk nantinya aku mati, dalam sebuah pertanyaan yang sama atau jawaban yang palsu akan nilai perjuanganku. Aku mencari.

aku memberikan kebebasan yang luas untuk membaca. kamu bebas kawan!

Persoalan Masuk atau Tidak

Jika saya ditanya persoalan apa yang paling penting di hidup ini, maka saya akan menjawab persoalan masuk dan tidak. Menurut saya persoalan ini adalah suatu hal yang krusial karena berhubungan dengan masa depan. Diterima masuk atau tidaknya anda di sebuah lembaga pendidikan yang bermutu, perusahaan yang bonafide, keluarga calon pendamping yang welcome plus kaya raya, dan surga pada akhirnya adalah sebuah jaminan untuk masa depan yang indah dan syarat mutlak agar anda mendapatkan dan mengalami apa yang disebut-sebut “muda foya-foya, tua kaya raya, dan mati masuk sorga”. Mekanismenya seperti ini; pertama si orang tua kalang kabut mencari biaya dan si anak belajar mati-matian, kemudian si anak berhasil masuk ke sekolah yang diidamkan, setelah beberapa tahun si anak lulus dengan nilai yang masuk zona cum laude, maka si anak dengan luwesnya masuk ke perusahaan yang mapan, konsekuensinya si anak menerima gaji yang besar ( di tahapan ini si anak akan mendapat yang dimaksud dengan muda foya-foya). Pendidikan yang baik, kerja yang mapan, dan gaji yang besar (terpenting) akan menempatkan si anak dalam jajaran pria dan wanita yang “berkepribadian” baik dan menarik, dan tentunya dengan status yang disandang tadi, si anak yang diamini orang tuanya ,terutama sang ibu, akan bersikap selektif dalam mencari pendamping hidup, diutamakan yang levelnya setara dengan dirinya. Kemudian menikahlah sang anak tadi ( di tahapan ini status si anak akan berubah menjadi si bapak atau si ibu) mergernya dua orang sukses dalam satu ikatan suci pernikahan, menyebabkan mereka bukan lagi dua tapi satu. Karena di satu ini ada dua orang yang hebat maka satu ini menjadi kuat, terutama dalam finansial ( dapatlah apa yang dimaksud tua kaya raya). Setelah menikah dan berkembang biak si anak yang sudah berubah menjadi bapak atau ibu ini akan mendapat tugas baru yaitu mengulangi fase-fase awal tadi untuk anaknya sambil menunggu mati. Pada akhirnya maut memanggil, dan si anak akan mendapat penghakiman atas dirinya. Karena track record yang baik semasa hidup, dianggap si anak ini adalah orang yang baik dan benar (diberkati), maka si anak tadi akhirnya mendapat tempat yang paling mulia( inilah yang dinamakan masuk surga). Coba bandingkan jika mekanismenya tidak seperti diatas. Pertama si orang tua sakit-sakitan dan miskin ditambah si anak kurang cakap dalam pelajaran, maka punah sudah investasi yang bernama pendidikan. Karena tidak punya latar pendidikan yang baik dan miskin maka si anak hanya bisa bermimpi untuk masuk ke perusahaan yang bonafide dan terpaksa bekerja serabutan. Karena pekerjaan yang tidak tetap maka penghasilan si anak menjadi ala kadarnya (gagal sudah untuk foya-foya di masa muda). Keadaan si anak membuat statusnya kurang berkenan untuk menjadi calon mantu nomer satu. Maka setelah perjuangan yang sia-sia kesana kemari untuk mencari jodoh, diambillah pasangan sekadarnya, bahkan mungkin yang setara mutunya dengan si anak. Beban hidup yang besar menyebabkan pasangan baru ini masuk dalam daftar keluarga penerima BLT. ( gagal lagi si anak untuk merasakan tua kaya raya) Hadirnya keturunan dan beban hidup yang mencekik menyebabkan pasangan ini susah untuk memperbaiki fase-fase awal yang kacau tadi maka muncul godaan-godaan untuk mendapatkan uang secara instan. Mulailah si anak masuk dalam jurang kejahatan, si pria dan wanita dalam satu ikatan pernikahan ini pun mulai mencari kerja sampingan. Si pria sambil mengojek mencoba mencari tambahan dengan menjambret, Si wanita sambil menjajakan jajanan pasar juga menambah dengan menjajakan dirinya. Pada akhirnya maut memanggil dan si anak mendapat penghakiman atas perbuatannya di dunia. Track record yang buruk yang didapat selama hidup menjadikan mukjizat dan anugerah sebagai satu-satunya jalan untuk masuk surga maka masuklah si anak ke dalam neraka jahanam ( inilah gagal yang terakhir dan menyakitkan).

Reason Behind Reason

Reason behind and Behind the Reason are things that become the background why suddenly I decided to start on blogging. "Reason behind" means the explicit purpose of my blog, the answer is quite simple. I start to enjoy writing, thanks to my creative writing class, and writing is a media for me to express idea. By putting it on the blog, hopefully later it will be read by someone, although I know my writing is not that good and I'm not a hot shot of writing. As a part of skill course, writing is the output skill. It makes me not only being receptive but creative, not only consumptive but productive. Any input that I got can be transformed into writing. Personal satisfaction is also what I got and desired when I know that someone have read my writing, especially if there any feedback from them. Those feedback will help me improving my technique, my knowledge and importantly reminding me to stay light. "Behind the reason" is also important, the answer can be seen from my blog title, biar gaya. Yes, that's the implicit purpose of my blog. I have met a lot of people who have blog and I found out that not all of those blog are interesting. So, I figured out that blog nowadays is a part of lifestyle and for me it's a positive thing, so why not. People may consider my blog as an act of my leisureliness since it's pointless, or they may think that it's indeed an interesting one, well feel free to decide.